so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
