hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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