Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

omg every time its on

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(619): View more from California

Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep

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(512): View more from Texas

We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.

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(813): View more from Florida

Penises. Everywhere.

(772): View more from Florida

You're. Welcome.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though

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(334): View more from Alabama

He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off

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