VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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