It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
