very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize