you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
