Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
