He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
