Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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