nut hugger
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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