he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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