He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
