i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
