he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
