But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
