im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We just shotgunned beers for America
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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