You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize
