I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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