also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
