i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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