Jerry, you need to find god
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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