cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
