I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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