she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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