I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
