never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
