I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
