I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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