sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
