I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize