I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
