Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
