I don't remember. Are we still dating?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize