Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
