don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The police scanner is talking about you again....
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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