you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
