I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
