3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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