I'm lost and stupid without you.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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