can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize