i think my tv is drunk
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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