My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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