What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in