he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
