The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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