fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
