I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just high enough for therapy.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
