im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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