If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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