Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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