garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wish my penis had an off switch
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
ttyl tear gas
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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