i just wanna soil my oats bro
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
