He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
