I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
