So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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