I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
