I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I wannas sexs uuuuu
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
