She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
