Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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