those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
