My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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