Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
