I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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