HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
